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Swing Low...
By Dick and JoAnn Lang
Swing low….sweet chariot…… was our
adopted son, Jordon’s favorite song. He especially loved the part where we said
his name …. I looked over Jordan and what did I see, comin’ for ‘ta
carry me home, a band of Angels comin’ after me, comin’ for ta’ carry me home.
It was a bitter cold day in East Chicago, Indiana. On January
16th, 1985 Jordon made his entrance into the world, a day that should have been
filled with joy and praise, but for Jordon’s birth family all they felt was
helplessness and sorrow. Soon after Jordon was born he experienced breathing
difficulty, doctors soon found he’d been born with a collapsed lung and air
around his heart. If that news wasn’t enough to send a family whirling Jordon
also had a VSD (hole in his heart). Doctors also suspected he may also have Down
syndrome.
Jordon’s birth mother had an addition to crack cocaine; years later we learned
that she blamed herself for Jordon’s diagnosis. The doctor told her Jordon
wouldn’t live to be five years old and offered her and her family the option of
adoption. Soon thereafter, we received a phone call from a woman in White
Plains, NY who helped babies and children born with Down syndrome find families
to adopt them. All we were told was that there was a black baby boy born with
Down syndrome who needed a family, would we take him? I explained I would need
to talk with my husband, but that we would call her back. With careful thought
and much prayer we felt led to say, yes. “I will not leave you orphans, I will
come to you.” John 14:18. I called the lady in NY back and arrangements were
made to pick the baby up. We met at the airport and our baby, whom we named
Jordon, was placed in my arms. He was sleeping soundly. I told my husband that
something was wrong with this baby. He felt stiff like he had cerebral palsy,
unlike the lower muscle tone that children with Down syndrome typically are born
with. But we were so taken by emotions the thought left as quickly as it came.
The days following Jordon’s homecoming were challenging yet wonderful. Jordon’s
tiny body would tremor and his cry was intense. Little did we know he was
experiencing withdrawals from crack cocaine. We tried everything we knew of to
comfort him, from Indian style wraps to formula change, with no relief. At age
two months we took Jordon to the Therapy Center for evaluation and
recommendations. It would be years before we would open our son’s adoption to
find answers to our many questions.
Growing up, Jordon was happy all the time and stubborn most of the time. He
flourished with our family and in spite of the obstacles he faced, he came to
know Jesus. Jordon was always included in everything we did as a family; he
attended Sunday school, parties and gatherings. Jordon had a smile that could
warm the coldest heart, and his personality sparkled. Anyone who knew Jordon
couldn’t help but love him and he thrived on attention. Jordon could not handle
much stimulation though; it was as if sounds and motion hurt him in some way.
Jordon also experienced challenges unrelated to his Down syndrome. Jordon’s
behaviors became increasingly dangerous and disruptive. He was asked to leave
the Parks & Rec. program for children with disabilities; he was sent home from a
handicapped camp for children with physical limitations. Jordon had limited
speech, he talked like a parrot reciting speech he’d heard from a cartoon or at
school, and he answered “yes” to everything. He could sing songs word for word
and carry a tune. Many times Jordon helped us to see God’s grace; we learned
that in times of deep sorrow, like the day the pediatric cardiologist told my
husband and I that Jordon was terminal, no cure, no operation that would fix his
broken little heart or repair his lungs, God’s grace truly is sufficient. 2
Corinthians 12:19 “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my
strength is made perfect in weakness”
By age 11, Jordon had a history of violent behaviors. The elementary school sued
us as a way to remove Jordon from school. They had been using an “adverse
therapy” protocol without our knowledge which included isolation, which only
compounded his behaviors. Eventually, Jordon’s behaviors endangered those around
him. Jordon needed in-patient care and treatment at a children’s behavioral
health facility. The Doctors and treatment team recommended Residential Rx. for
Jordon’s well-being and that of those around him.
Sadly, the doctor’s and treatment teams’ recommendations went without being
addressed by those in positions to be of assistance. Jordon’s body continued to
grow, however, his mind stayed that of a two-three year old. Jordon loved the
musical Christmas bells we hung over the doorway each Christmas. His favorite
cartoon was Pete’s Dragon and he could sing every song. Jordon also had a
mobility scooter due to his decreased oxygen levels. He loved to ride that
scooter. One winter we let him pull his two younger brothers around the cow
pasture in the snow as he drove the scooter. Jordon never liked the cold
weather, much less snow, so this was the only way to get him to come outside (he
was the driver).
By the time Jordon was twelve years old, his dad needed neuro surgery on his
spine. As much as it hurt to let Jordon go we knew with my husband’s upcoming
operation and Jordon’s behaviors, staying at home wasn’t an option. We signed
Jordon into state care hoping he would receive the mental health care he so
desperately needed and doctors had long recommended. We tried relentlessly to
have the child welfare workers comply with doctors’ recommendations as to
Jordon’s care. Unfortunately, the child welfare workers choose to place Jordon
in a foster care home and offered nine days respite care at a facility in
another town. Jordon was very repetitive: anything out of routine could easily
create a problem for Jordon and those around him. Jordon had significant medical
and mental disabilities, he didn’t have the capacity to understand or control
his behaviors; he was extremely repetitive in all he did. After my husbands
operation, recuperation and auto accident Jordon returned home. On May 1, 2000
while at respite care, Jordon became out of control and police were summoned.
Jordon was taken by ambulance to a local hospital where his dad and I picked him
up and brought him home (on sedating medication). On May 8, 2000 after hitting
his dad in the face and pounding on his sister’s back as she tried to pick up
his O2 equipment off the floor, the police came and took Jordon in handcuffs.
The police officers determined that Jordon was a danger to himself and his
family. Next we found ourselves in a Court Dependency. Again, we asked the Lord
to direct us, strengthen us, and give us wisdom to help our special son. The
court found that Jordon had severe behavioral and emotional issues that were
beyond the parents’ ability to handle. We realized we could no longer care for
Jordon and keep everyone safe, we’d been told that the only way to get help for
Jordon was to sign him into care. On that day, we prayerfully let go. Sadly,
Jordon remained in foster care and endangered other children. Our prayer was
that Jordon would receive the mental health care he required and be able to come
home.
While in care, Jordon had a sprained ankle and sustained a broken jaw, things we
didn’t learn until after his death. I believe that God looked down on Jordon and
said, This is enough, Jordon, it’s time to come home. On June 3, 2006 Jordon
looked over the “river Jordan, and saw a band of angels comin after me, comin
for ta carry me home.” My husband and I had prayed that when his time came that
the Lord would take him home gently and peacefully. Jordon went to bed that
Friday night and the angels came, our sweet son went home to be with the Lord.
We are at peace knowing that Jordon is with Jesus and we have the blessed hope
of seeing him again in heaven. Even in death God answered our prayers.
Note from Jo Ann: When I felt lead to write this article I first thought how
negative, why would anyone be interested in our family’s joys and struggles?
Would it prevent families from adopting children like Jordon? Or would it let
families who are struggling know that not every story has a happy ending... but
that’s not the end? I also would like those reading our story to know that
children like Jordon so very much need a voice; their families need support and
encouragement. God desires us to reach out to children like Jordon, their
families and their birth families. After Jordon went home to be with the Lord, I
knew I needed to contact his birth family. Sadly, his birth mother was in a drug
rehab, however, one of Jordon’s biological sisters was open to keeping in touch.
As I ministered to her she told me she was looking for Jesus! Our God is an
awesome God! Even in death he can and does use his children to minister to the
lost. I quickly ordered Rick Warren’s book “Purpose Driven Life” and mailed it
to her. We pray for her and her family’s salvation and believe that God will,
through Jordon’s life, touch his birth family and bring them to him. I can only
praise God for all the wonderful things he has done for me and my family. I feel
blessed and privileged to have been entrusted with Jordon’s little life. He is
greatly missed, but he no longer has a hole in his heart and his lungs are
filled with oxygen because of the greatest physician of all-Jesus!
Jo Ann Lang
12401 N.E. 44th Street
Vancouver, WA 98682
(360) 256-3535
email:RTRIBE2000@aol.com.
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