Saving pre-born babies with special needs….
Crisis pregnancy director Salle swiped quickly at the corner of her eyes. No time for tears today. This afternoon being exceptionally busy left no time for sentiment.
Candy sat half in and half out the backdoor of the clothes cluttered crisis pregnancy center. 5 months along with child and deep in thought, nonchalantly she looked over the busy city. She smoked a cigarette. Decisions. The baby inside her posed a problem. Her boyfriend was not against her giving birth….for the purpose of selling the child on the black market for thousands of dollars, but a major problem surfaced. She was HIV positive. How was her boyfriend going to take this? Her face tingled with dread. He sure had a hard fist.
Another cigarette, another 15 minutes until her ride arrived. Perhaps that sympathetic soul up front of the crisis pregnancy center would offer a glimmer of hope. Pregnancy interruption, genetic termination, abortion… in spite of Candy’s hard life, she could not bring herself to kill her baby. Even at the doctor’s urging. Pulling herself up, putting out her cigarette with her foot, she wandered slowly over to Salle’s desk.
“The test came back positive. I am going to get AIDS.” Candy’s deadpan voice broke the stillness of the room.
“Oh, I am so sorry…” Salle rose from her chair putting a gentle hand on Candy.
“Looks like abortion will be the only way out of this one….” Candy said tersely. A tear floated off her eye lash and landed on her black leather coated arm. “I was so hoping to make this one work. I just feel like I don’t want to make anymore mistakes….if I am going to die….do you know what I mean?” A sob escaped. Salle placed a Kleenex in Candy’s hand.
“Taking the life of your baby will not cure you, Candy. It will only add to your already hurting heart.”
The string of bells clanged on the door. A man swaggered in looking left and right. Catching sight of him, Candy cleared all emotion from her face. In silence Candy left.
That evening, CPC Director Salle made a phone call. A Christian family named the Bushnell’s had started a ministry called CHASK, Christian Homes And Special Kids. She had heard that CHASK might have families willing to adopt babies with special needs, even those who were HIV positive.
True to her hope, there were indeed several families willing to love Candy’s baby. Excitedly, Salle again picked up the phone. Candy’s number was disconnected. Salle lowered her head in prayer. It would have to be the Lord bringing this mom back in. Salle felt in her heart that saving the life of this baby meant also saving Candy for eternity. If only she would come back.
Two weeks later, the clanging string of bells caused Salle to look up. At first she didn’t recognize Candy. Her hair was combed back and she was not wearing the oversized black leather jacket. Candy found her way right to Salle.
“I found a wonderful family for my baby!” Candy’s eye’s radiated a happy beam of hope.
Salle eagerly sat down with Candy, handing her a plate of chocolate chip cookies to choose from. “Tell me about them. Are they in town, how did you come across them? Do they know the possibility of HIV?
Candy lowered her voice. “I saw this lady in my doctor’s office. I was going to set a time for an abortion. I hated to do it, but without the birth money it might bring, this baby did not stand a chance in my situation. But can you grab it? HIV or not, this family is willing to give my baby the home I have always wanted.”
“Candy, this is such good news. What a blessing you will be sharing with this family. How did you get talking with this lady in the office?”
“Oh yeah, that’s where I was. Anyway, I was looking through a magazine trying not to listen to the conversation at the front desk, but the lady was sharing with the nurse about a group of families named CHASK. They all have special needs kids themselves. There are thousands of them and many of them have adopted their children.”
With a hint of hope, this relieved mom-to-be cocked her head sideways questioning, “Do you honestly think God really cares about a hard woman like me, Salle? I mean, it isn’t His fault I got pregnant and that I am HIV positive…”
With compassion in her eyes Salle shared, “Not only does God love you, but He also loves that special baby inside you. He has a great life planned for him or her. Candy, do you know that the Lord can clean your heart and make you a new person?”
Candy shook her head with a small frown, unbelievingly…. “Anyway,” said Candy changing the subject, “This lady left. I walked up to the nurse and asked her what that lady’s name was. The nurse said she didn’t know, but she handed me this brochure from her. Here it is.” Candy fished a wrinkled brochure from her jeans pocket.
Salle took the paper and read the inside. Yes, it was indeed the same group of people. She took a closer look at the front. A baby, obviously sick, with an oxygen cannula, was sleeping peacefully. She was gently shadowed behind a cute little girl with Down syndrome, smiling a huge, happy face. The words, Fear? Questions? Heartbreak? Shock? Decisions?…seemed to understand the horrible situation any birth parent facing an adverse prenatal diagnosis might face.
“Is it possible to turn devastating news into something beautiful?” The phrase was echoed down lower… “Yes, we are seeing devastating news turn into something beautiful!”
“Options? Genetic termination: what at first glance may seem an easy choice, may not be what you wish to remember later in life.” Salle read on. “Please don’t let fear or heartbreak stop you from really thinking about all of your choices. Making the right decision for you and your baby can bring emotional peace in spite of pain.”
“Christian families experienced in dealing with special needs, wait for your call. CHASK presents two options:
#1 Family-to-family support. Parents are willing to share in person or over the phone or by written correspondence, helping birth parents get through this difficult time, step-by-step.
#2 What about entrusting your baby with another family? If you are sure you cannot parent your baby, here are hundreds of families willing to share their lives with your special needs baby.”
Salle looked up at Candy. “So you called them, then?”
Candy nodded. “Yes, and they were very nice. They talked with me for over half an hour about different parents that would love my baby. They answered my questions about carrying a little one to term versus abortion. We also talked about how people in the community view people HIV positive and with AIDS.”
Salle smiled warmly. “This is great news, Candy. I will be praying that this family will be blessed by your baby. I know that however hard this might be right now for you. Your baby will not regret you giving them life.”
Candy left the Crisis Pregnancy Center with hope and a resolve to stay off drugs and booze until after her baby was born.
Medication started at 4 months gestation and a special “bloodless” c-section will give Candy’s baby a good chance of not contracting HIV during birth.
Is there ever a case for selective termination?
But what about babies born with only part of their brain?
What about children needing many, many operations at the expense of the tax payers?
What about children destined to be severely deformed?
What about babies who only have a day or two to live outside of the womb?
Planned Parenthood’s new slogan sings, “Every Child a wanted and loved child”. But what about the children who are “unwanted” and “unloved”? Do they deserve death?
What about the terminally ill or elderly that are hard to love or are “unwanted”?
What if someone wants to die?
Just where do we draw the line?
FACT: 80% of un-born babies with special needs are aborted.
In our pain-free-seeking society, medical problems that cause emotional and financial pain are feared. Abortion pressure from doctors and even family members is strong.
Facing death or even the fear of seeing someone they love suffer, may be more than some birth parents feel they can cope with. In our society it is acceptable to choose murder (death of a baby) over misery.
Popular reasons for abortion.
Health of the mother is often used as a reason to abort. In actuality, life-threatening medical situations in a birth mother are extremely rare.
Substance abuse, rape / incest, HIV positive or AIDS, or “emotional instability “ can be behind the choice to kill an unborn baby.
Here are some other reasons for “interrupting” a pregnancy….
1. “It’s not the right time in life for a child because our lifestyle is too busy. Mother’s hands are too full meeting the needs of other children.”
2. Not enough money to pay for ?????
3. “We are too old.”
Why aren’t more people strongly pro-life?
Surely a lack of belief is at the core, but there has got to be more to it. Can it be a misunderstanding of when life begins? A person in the work-place valuing integrity, may not want to be associated with “crazy Dr. killers”.
Think about this. If you aborted babies for money or even had an abortion yourself, unless the Lord had wiped away the sin and pain, would you get behind a cause that would remind you of your mistakes?
What about folks that are neither pro-life or pro-death?
Many people are too busy. Refusing to think about the issue of abortion eliminates decision making. Sidestepping all emotional tangles with either side keeps both of them out of their pocket book.
Who is Pro-life?
Pro-lifers. Do they honor all life, from the unborn to the aged? What will it take to convince the world that life is precious?
What are pro-life families doing right now? Crisis Pregnancy Centers volunteering, sharing with birth parents in the community, meeting the needs of hurting families. These are all very important and without all of these efforts, the love of Christ would not be shared with millions.
What about babies that are diagnosed with Down syndrome, spina bifida, severe medical issues, and other medical needs? What are we doing right now to meet the needs of these horribly at risk children?
There are many more babies needing homes than loving families willing to adopt. The world knows this!
Many Christians have this attitude:
“Pregnant with a baby that has medical concerns? Life is precious. Do not abort!”
“You cannot care for your special needs child? God will take care of both of you. Trust Him. Nothing is impossible with Him. “
“What? You don’t want your baby with special needs?”
“Hmmm….I am really not in a place right now to care for a disabled child.”
“Someone else I am sure would love to. Have you tried an agency?”
“Can’t find anyone to help? This is awful... I’ll pray for you and this special baby.”
The Birth Parent’s Perspective.
Giving birth to a special needs child is an embarrassment. Who should be responsible for their “accident”. Why bother anyone? Pro-abortion people let parents remain in control of themselves and their children. Control is the ultimate. If someone has no regard for God, then abortion is a very real way to solve “nature’s mistakes”.
The real issue.
Adoption or entrusting a child with another family takes courage. Quietly getting rid of a “mis-conception” is easier.
The process of contacting someone about their baby (telling the long sad story), finding a family, working out the details, and explaining to family members, is honestly a painful process.
Saying good-bye to a baby is always hard, no matter how wonderful an adoptive family may be. A quick appointment at an abortion clinic is easier to deal with immediately, than thinking about a “miserable” future.
Every Special Needs Child Deserves a Loving Home, But How?
ANSWER: We are responsible only for those God asks us to share our lives or finances with.
The Lord brings choices about life in our path. Here are some examples:
A mom or someone connected with a birth parent asks us if we could take their special child or help find a forever family.
God could bring to our attention specific needs. A birth mom might be in financial crisis. (Often just a paid electric bill or grocery gift certificate can be great encouragement.)
Crisis Pregnancy Centers, CHASK or others in the front ministries have projects they are asking for help with.
True compassion is suffering with someone. Suffering in America, as Christians, often comes about in the form of requests for financial help.
Let’s be wise. Where will our money be most needed?
Thousands of Christian families would willingly share their lives with another child. However, the initial cost of adoption is beyond the scope of many of theses families, especially due to the $10,000.00 tax credit that agencies think all parents who adopt get. Ironically, only financially well off adoptive parents can reap any benefits from this tax credit, as they are the ones that make enough to take advantage of a tax credit in the first place!
Has your heart been touched by personal contact with a birth mom, reading the Bible or other literature, conversations, or in some other way? Is the Lord prompting you? Act now.
Love a child that is not our own?
Some parents are able to feel so completely given to a child, that they cannot separate the love for their birth children from the love of an adopted child.
There is a love, however, that is not the same as a birth parent/ birth-child love. It is just as strong and devoted. It is just as protective, caring and affectionate. It is the love of Christ ministering to a child through us.
God’s love is able to minister to an adopted child who is very difficult to love. This is why Christians are most successful with the harder to love children. Through Jesus, caring for children becomes a ministry not misery.
The question remains:
Do you believe that all unborn children, whether severely disabled or “normal,” deserve a loving family? Are some special needs babies maybe better off dead?
However you decide is important. Is God calling you to a deeper role in the pro-life area? We believe He is calling families in a bigger way than in the past. Please pray about how He wants you to minister. It is no longer possible to stay detached. The sides are clear. Although much good comes from the excellent medical community in the USA, Satan does have a hold on the political side of health care.
Our responsibility before God in the pro-life area is a deep-seated, heart conviction that each person decides.
Can we resolve to trust God and obey even when the future looks hard? Do we believe that God would give us more than what we can handle?
Fear of the unknown plagues many of us. Fear of raising an adopted child only to have him or her die; fear of not being able to handle behavior, medical needs, and the scorn of family and friends.
Can we trust that God will bring wisdom for our response in each situation that needs our attention?
Just as Salle is dedicating her life to helping girls like Candy, we can be effective in ministering, by being obedient to God’s voice.
How important to you is life?
Suggestions for Honest Pro-lifers
1. Order CHASK flyers to hand out to Dr’s, CPC’s, churches, ect…
2. Become adoptive parents. Choose to love a child that would have been aborted.
3. Find families to adopt if you can’t. Ask around. Let families know about CHASK’s private, no agency fee adoptions.
4. Help print brochures. Give hope to birth parents facing an adverse prenatal diagnosis. 100% of your generous gift, if you so desire, will go towards getting these unique brochures into the hands of those who need it most. Your $25, $50, $100 monthly, is needed right now.
Christian Homes And Special Kids CHASK